tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
