Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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