so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
bring money and cleavage
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
