I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Green mimosas i think yes
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
