I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
