i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
