it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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