I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
