I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
