I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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