John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
