after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
