My hand turned me down
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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