Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
