i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
