who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
