They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
my liver is dry heaving
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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