This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
