he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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