More tranny stories later!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
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