New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
