I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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