I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
