She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
