Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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