that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
