is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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