people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
