going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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