More tranny stories later!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
