I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
