We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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