Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
