Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
