Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize