I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
there was a trapeze. enough said
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize