"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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