But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
