I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
