Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
