She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
