We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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