kristin has been a bad kristin
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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