i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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