Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
