Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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