I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
