I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
