I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Did I show you my penis last night?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
