You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
