I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
