yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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