i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
