i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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