and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
