so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
