Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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