My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
