you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
