So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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